Worst Country Songs Ever Written.

You've probably already read this on Facebook. I'm gonna go into a little more explanation here.

I'll admit, these probably aren't the worst country songs EVER WRITTEN. I'm sure there are many terrible country songs that I haven't heard. This is a list of country songs I don't like and are on my mind at the moment. For the sake of the blog, we're calling them the worst country songs ever written.

We'll go for the top 5.

5

"Turn On the Radio"- Reba McEntire

Okay, Reba... First of all you're old, you're a ginger, and you're just not that attractive. I can almost guarantee that there is no one that is trying that hard for your "love." Granted, you may have a stalker or two due to the fame, but clearly this song is about something deeper than that.

I would also like to point out that the man in this video is young and ripped to shreds. I don't think you're quite his type, Grandma.

I'm the first to admit that I'm a Reba fan. She's talented and actually somewhat funny. The song is just really stupid.

4

"This Ain't No Love Song"- Trace Adkins

Alright, I'm a fan of the guy. He's obviously a badass (sorry mom.) He's got some great songs and really is talented. 

This song is just dumb. Really, it's just dumb. I get it, Trace. The double negative admitting that it really is a love song, you really are stalking her just saying you're not... I get it. I like the idea. Just not your best work. 

Easily deserves the number 4 spot.

I'll give you this much though, great video. 

3

"Why Wait?"- Rascal Flatts

For obvious reasons, I consider Rascal Flatts the boy band of country. Except for one thing: I LIKE BOY BANDS. Lead singer, Gary LeVox, is clearly French. Why the heck are you singing my country's music? 

cough*kiethurban*cough

Okay, that clearly isn't a big issue, I just wanted a chance to say something bad about Kieth Urban. I also intentionally spelled his name wrong, for no other reason than I just don't like him.

Gary, all I'm saying is maybe lose the dyke spikes.

My biggest issue with this song is the music video. Don't try to make a play on The Hangover. That clearly deserves a punch from Mike Tyson, or a crow bar smack from Leslie Chow. The song doesn't fit the movie. 

You're wasting a lot of time writing, recording and performing this song. What are you waiting for? 

Okay guys, forever is not a given. Don't say that. 

I'm sure her mom is going to mind you "saving her the trouble." I'm also willing to bet that her dad would kick your butt for, "saving him a bundle." What kind of family doesn't want to see their baby girl's wedding?

I'm still not positive if this song was written about a girl. It seems highly likely to me that it was written for a man and then maybe changed around a bit to make it for a girl, so that country music would accept it. Just my theory. 

Anyway, terrible song.

2

"Stuck Like Glue"- Sugarland

"Gag me with a spoon!" That is the only phrase I can think of that is dumb enough to be used to describe this horrible, terrible, disgusting, repulsive song. I truly don't understand what would possess lead singer, Jennifer Nettles, to attempt that "rap." 

I'm having a personal debate whether or not to refer to it as rap. I'm not a rap fan. But I don't feel like it has done anything bad enough for that terrible noise to fall into the same category. 

I feel bad for guitarist, Kristian Bush. The man has talent, he can play, sing and even has some swagger. He could do better, truly. I can't blame founding member, Kristen Hall, for leaving the group. No, she may not be well known or famous these days, but at least she doesn't have to deal with that annoying lady anymore. 

The video is stupid, the song is creepy. I think that is one we can all agree on.

1

"Who Are You When I'm Not Lookin'?"- Blake Shelton

Brace yourselves people. This might get nasty.

If you have a baby or small child, be sure that he or she is no where near me when this song begins to play. As soon as the song begins, I get an uncontrollable urge to punch a baby. Honestly, maybe kick a puppy or light your flowers on fire. I hate it. I hate it so bad. 

I honestly have no idea why. There is no reason for me to hate it so bad. I hate it. I love Blake Shelton, but I hate this song. I hate it more than I hate the Taliban. Possibly more than I hate the Red Sox. Yes, friends, this hatred is deep. 

This song is the biggest disgrace to country music since the Dixie Chicks. 

I want to punch Blake Shelton in the face because he recorded this song. 

It's an embarrassment, not only to country music, but to both the Country and to all music in general.

Alright guys, it's time for some dishonorable mentions. I won't go into detail, I'll just list these off for ya.

"White Liar"- Miranda Lambert (Shelton?)

"Need You Now"- Lady Antebellum

"This"- Darius Rucker

"Look It Up"- Ashton Sheperd

"Mama's Song"- Carrie Underwood

"That Don't Impress Me Much"- Shania Twain

Actually, all Shania Twain songs.

"This Kiss"- Faith Hill

"Goodbye Earl"- Dixie Chicks

And every other Sugarland song!

If you have any questions as to why any of these received dishonorable mentions. Feel free to ask :)